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The Empress, The Princess, Their Deaths & The Tower

The Empress, The Princess, Their Deaths & The Tower

We need to talk about what happens when living with a teenage daughter

I live with my 15-year-old daughter. It’s just the two of us, and there’s no denying the incredible bond and love between us. But it’s no easy ride.

So, when the Empress comes up for me in Tarot readings for myself, I tend to take it as a prompt to examine how I am showing up in my relationship with my daughter… as the “grownup” in our relationship. The sole provider, protector and carer.

On a good day, I can come up with quite a lot of lovely fluffy stuff about loving, nurturing, accepting, non-judgmental mothering with a healthy pinch of self-love and self-acceptance sprinkled on top for good measure.

Be kind to yourself, right?

But then we, my daughter and I, fall out over something stupid, and I know that I can never live up to this particular template of mothering: The Empress template.

Underappreciated, unseen, overworked… redundant

There are times when I feel underappreciated, unseen, overworked, yet at the same time slightly redundant, like I’m about to be discontinued in my current format. Operating System, no longer supported.

Sometimes I think, no, I know, she is actually pretending to live in the flat on her own. And it reminds me of when, as a little girl, she stopped wanting to hold my hand on the street and then graduated to walking ahead or behind me on the pavement – pretending to be out and about all on her own.

It’s OK. I’m OK. I know that it’s pretty bloody important that our kids grow up to be able to leave the house and cross the road on their own. And other such important stuff.

I also know that many daughters only truly see their mothers clearly when they themselves become mothers, or carers, or otherwise fully-fledged relational humans with lives and homes (and hormones) and responsibilities of their own.

I know, and I’m OK. Don’t send help.

The Empress ~ Towering feminine archetype or impossible, untouchable fantasy role model?

I am Libra Sun (with a tricky Capricorn Moon in my 1st house). As many will know, Libra is ruled by the planet Venus, which is represented in the Tarot Major Arcana by none other than The Empress. A literal powerhouse of authentic feminine creativity and strength.

So, it feels like there may be some weight of (self-imagined) expectation there for me to be a natural earth mother, fierce and strong.

I am not.

Well, not all the time anyway.

The Empress in her full power

The Empress is strong, creative, passionate, sensual, nurturing, caring and alive. She represents vitality, fecundity and fertility, nature’s cycles, feminine cycles and abundance.

She is your mother and Mother Earth. Sovereign over the female body, she rules over birth, childhood, hormones, menarche, sex, pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood, menopause, and beyond. I believe she is there until the end.

She is the daughter caring for elderly parents and the grandmother holding the baby when her daughter or daughter ‘in-law’ needs a break to have a shower and something to eat.

She is also your sister and your best friend.

She is the feminine ideal in every stage of womanhood. Apparently.

An impossible full-fat fantasy

This full-fat version of The Empress is an almost impossible ideal, a fantasy.

She is hard to live up to, and she is also the most shaken when her daughter stops being her sweet, obedient child and starts growing into a woman, discovering her own power and pushing for sovereignty over her body and choices.

Her: “You can’t tell me what to do!”

Me: “I bloody well can. It’s my actual job, as your mother.
It’s in the job description.
Which is sitting on the printer if you’d care to read it.”
(It was not, obviously. That would’ve been funny.)

Sound familiar?

When you have a teenage daughter in the house pressing your buttons, rolling her eyes, and occasionally slamming doors, the mother that tends to emerge (in my house at least) is often a much more shadowy version of The Empress.

When The Empress shadow rises

In shadow, she is the over-functioning nurturer. She “helicopters” and gives and gives, and expects nothing in return.

Or does she? 

Yeah, don’t be fooled. This Empress is the master-martyr. Queen of passive aggression and certainly not above an eye-roll or a door slam herself. Controlling, manipulative and childish behaviour is not exclusive to the kids!

So much for showing up as the “grown-up”. Cue the inevitable shame spiral when real life looks messier, angrier, or less adorable.

It helps to remember: this fantasy didn’t come from nowhere. It’s the legacy of a thousand years of unpaid labour under a system and a culture that idealises the mother, then leaves her to do the washing up and wipe the kitchen surfaces on her own.

The Princess ~ Rebel Fool & People Pleaser

In the Tarot vernacular, my daughter tends to show up as the Page or Princess (as they are named in some decks) in these scenarios, in all her glorious light and shadow.

She is young and impressionable and chomping at the bit to access and experience more of life. Curious, open, fun-loving, and yes, innocent, romantic and perhaps a little naïve.

These are classic Page/Princess qualities to be honoured, bounded and fiercely protected for as long as we can. That’s the job, as a parent.

When the Princess shadow rises

The Page/Princess archetype also represents ‘The Rebel Fool’, risk-taking and pushing boundaries, and ‘The People Pleaser’, needing to build self-worth, and longing for acceptance and validation through the approbation or ‘gaze’ of others.

And we all know what kind of choices these two versions of the Page/Princess might make. And how a mother/martyr might judge them, while at the same time blame themselves.

Her: “Oh my God-errr. Are you shaming me?!”
(Extreme eye roll)
Me: “No, my darling. Of course not.
I think you look fantastic in those shorts*…
I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

*Think Daisy Dukes: ultra-short, bum-hugging festival shorts.

Their Deaths ~ Let’s talk about the Death Card

As with womanhood, Motherhood seems to be a series of ‘Death’ and ‘Tower’ moments. We’ll get to The Tower in a moment. First, let’s address the Death card and what it adds to the conversation about living with a teenage daughter.

Each life stage referred to above as the province of The Empress is also in the dominion of Death. Putting the two cards side-by-side reminds us of the inevitable circle of life and how that plays for a woman in particular.

We go through so many transformations throughout our lives and with each stage we experience a mini-death and a rebirth: from physical birth and babyhood, through childhood to the pre-teen and teenage years, menstruation and sexual maturity, sexual exploration and the ‘death of maidenhood’, ‘marriage’, motherhood, middle age and menopause, grand-motherhood and finally physical death.

My daughter and I are, in turns, pushing and pulling each other over the thresholds into new stages of womanhood and motherhood. Once we are transformed from one thing to the next, there is no turning back.

The shift into any new dynamics between mother and daughter isn’t easy. And sometimes, it feels like a death. Each time she sheds a skin, I do too. 

Where has my baby girl gone? Who is this beautiful, long-legged creature living in my house and slamming my doors?

And, for that matter, who is this woman I see in the mirror? One thing’s for sure, it isn’t the Fantasy Empress. 

The Tower ~ Blows the bloody doors off

If Death represents the inevitable cycles of transformation in our lives, The Tower shows up to “blow the bloody doors off!” and shatter the myth of the Perfect Mother once and for all.

It tears down the idea of the full-fat Fantasy Empress and the kind of mother you thought you were going to be: always adorable and adored. The shattering of this illusion of motherhood allows for the ‘real thing’ to grow. 

Death and The Tower, menstruation and menopause, hormonal mood swings, rites of passage. Clearly, my daughter is not the only one growing up, shape-shifting and transforming here. Motherhood isn’t just about shaping a child, but being reshaped by her. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.

And maybe she doesn’t love me and need me in quite the same way as she used to. But that’s OK. The goal is not to be adored like an empress, but to model how to stay sovereign, strong and independent in this world with a rock-solid sense of self and worth.

Strength & the Holy Grail of mothering

I want to end this with another Tarot archetype associated with motherhood.

Strength, under the rulership of Leo, might represent the fiercest mother of them all. And perhaps one key to reclaiming the Empress from the unattainable realms of feminine perfection and fantasy.

This card speaks of subtle power, gentle strength, resilience, self-mastery and acceptance. Superpowers, basically. The holy grail of mothering.

I started this piece by saying we needed to talk about teenage daughters.

Turns out, what I really needed was to talk about mothering teenage daughters. Especially the kind of messy, unglamorous mothering we deliver when no one’s handing out prizes and the bounds of our love are tested to the limit.

Strength encourages us to stay open, not reactive. To give us the courage to hold the space for a child’s growth, without controlling it. To keep witnessing and loving them even when we feel their resistance and they are behaving like little shits!

Tarot Decan Walk: Scorpio III ~ 7 of Cups

Tarot Decan Walk: Scorpio III ~ 7 of Cups

Decan: 20°-29° Scorpio

Dates: 12-21 November 2024

Ruling planet/luminary: Venus

Zodiac sign: Scorpio ~ Fixed Water 🜄

Tarot card: 7 of Cups

Golden Dawn Title: Lord of Illusory Success

Associated Major Arcana:

The Empress (Venus) & Death (Scorpio)

7 of Cups, The Rider Waite Tarot

Where your focus goes…

The 7 of Cups can represent an ‘overwhelm’ of choices. And you really can’t have it all. Choices must be made and sometimes there are objects, dreams, fantasies, obsessions or patterns that must be ‘let go’ – allowed to ‘die’ – so that other, more sustainable, options may be allowed to survive and thrive.

We all know the phrase ‘where your focus goes, energy flows…’ so Venus in Scorpio, as seen in the 7 of Cups, is a warning to be very aware of where you place your attention and intention in the moment.

The Venus ruled Empress represents fertile ground, creativity and also a love of earthly pleasures. However, this can play into her darker side where she might over-indulge in the pleasures of the physical world to the detriment of her inner world.

And so Death rides in to remind her, and all of us, that ‘you can’t take it with you when you go’. There’s nothing like a brush with Death to focus the mind on what really matters.

As with previous Decans, I have found it useful to look at some keywords to see what ideas they may spark about the current Decan of Scorpio III.

Venus ~ attributes

  • Earth
  • Yin energy
  • Tenderness
  • Abundance
  • Growth
  • Love
  • Friendship
  • Attraction
  • Sensuousness
  • Sensuality
  • Warmth
  • Creativity
  • Art
  • Beauty
  • Harmony
  • Earthly pleasures
  • Joy
  • Luxury
  • Ruler of Taurus & Libra

Scorpio ~ attributes

  • Deep thinking
  • Passionate
  • Emotional
  • Intense
  • Intuitive
  • Mysterious
  • Secretive
  • Honest
  • Moody
  • Loyal
  • Determined
  • Ambitious
  • Singleminded
  • Unyielding
  • Obsessive
  • Temperamental
  • Water sign
  • Ruler of the 10th House – birth, death, inheritance
  • Ruled by the Pluto & Mars

The Empress, Birth & Death

The Empress in Tarot is said to represent the great earth mother, childbirth and creation. To put her side-by-side with Death reminds us of the inevitable circle of life and how that plays for a woman in particular.

From the female point of view, we go through so many transformations throughout our incredible lives and with each stage we experience a mini-death and a rebirth: from physical birth and babyhood, from childhood to the teenage years, menstruation and sexual maturity, sexual exploration and the ‘death of maidenhood’, ‘marriage’, motherhood, middle age and menopause, grandmotherhood and finally physical death.

Once we are transformed from one thing to another there is no turning back. And there are often dreams to be sacrificed along the way as we face the responsibilities of the stage of life that we are in, whether they be to our husband/partner, our children or the expectations of a still patriarchal society. We put our focus where our focus is needed. And it can indeed be overwhelming.

Interestingly, the ‘death and the maiden’ is a common theme in art, where we may see a young woman being taken by Death, often depicted as a skeleton, inspired by the ancient myth of Hades, the bachelor god of the underworld who abducted Persephone.

Death and the Maiden: PJ Lynch and Marianne Stokes. Hades Abducting Persephone: Simone Pignoni

Prompts for 7 of Cups ~ Venus in Scorpio

When considering your myriad choices, and where you choose to focus your energy…

Ask yourself:

  • Are you lacking focus and direction right now?
  • How can you turn your attention to the people and things that matter to you?
  • Are you struggling to keep your eye on the real prize?
  • Are you feeling tempted to go down a route or indulge in behaviours that you know in your heart are not good for you and those around you?
  • How do your decisions affect others?
  • What can you do to ensure you make healthier choices going forward?

Observations and synchronicities ~ on Scorpio III

I’m making space here to return to over the coming days of Scorpio III to add any thoughts, ideas and synchronicities as they arise…

For me, this is the first card in the Minor Arcana that points to excess and addiction.

It reminds me of indulging in self-destructive, escapist behaviours in the hope of filling some void. Though fun in the moment, these behaviours ultimately only served to highlight what was missing and inevitably led to ‘fear and loathing’.

This interpretation comes through more strongly depending on the deck, but I think you can get a real sense of the debauched nature and toxic energy that the 7 of Cups can bring when you look at the Thoth and Urban Tarot renditions of the card.


Notes on the Decan Walk 2024/25

For more information on Decans, Astrology and Tarot and how they all synchronise please read this Substack article by Rebeka Kulcsar-Kurdi and T. Susan Chang’s 36 Secrets: A Decanic Journey through the Minor Arcana of the Tarot.

And, if you care to join me for this continuing solar return, you’ll find me on Facebook and Instagram hanging out on the corner of #decanwalk2024 and #decanastrology And I will be following @astroco_op and @tsusanchang

Here’s to another trip around the Sun!

Tarot Decan Walk: Scorpio II ~ 6 of Cups

Tarot Decan Walk: Scorpio II ~ 6 of Cups

Decan: 10°-19° Scorpio

Dates: 2-11 November 2024

Ruling planet/luminary: Sol

Zodiac sign: Scorpio ~ Fixed Water 🜄

Tarot card: 6 of Cups

Golden Dawn Title: Lord of Pleasure

Associated Major Arcana:

The Sun (Sol) & Death (Scorpio)

6 of Cups, The Rider Waite Tarot

A new day, a new dawn

We see innocence in all three cards above: two children giving and receiving flowers in the 6 of Cups, the joyful, naked child riding a white horse under a dazzling sun and in the safety of a walled garden, and finally, the child calmly facing the Grim Reaper with innocent, fearless curiosity.

Together they seem to speak of acceptance of ‘what is’. Acceptance of a simple gift, given with an open heart. Acceptance, or trust, that the sun will rise again and shine on playtime tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. And, in the Death card, acceptance of change and life’s natural cycles.

Given the inevitability of these cycles, the 6 of Cups encourages us to be mindful and to keep showing up each new day with gratitude, love, compassion, forgiveness and an open heart.

As with previous Decans, I have found it useful to look at some keywords to see what ideas they may spark about the current Decan of Scorpio II.

Sol ~ attributes

  • Fire
  • Yang
  • Energy
  • Growth
  • Confidence
  • Success
  • Enthusiasm
  • Positivity
  • Openness
  • Trust
  • Warmth
  • Life
  • Light
  • Radiance
  • Centre
  • Ruler of Leo
  • Ego
  • Strength
  • Creative/destructive
  • Force of nature

Scorpio ~ attributes

  • Deep thinking
  • Passionate
  • Emotional
  • Intense
  • Intuitive
  • Mysterious
  • Secretive
  • Honest
  • Moody
  • Loyal
  • Determined
  • Ambitious
  • Singleminded
  • Unyielding
  • Obsessive
  • Temperamental
  • Water sign
  • Ruler of the 10th House – birth, death, inheritance
  • Ruled by the Pluto & Mars

Shared history

The Sun in Scorpio, represented in the 6 of Cups, speaks of generational ‘stuff’ – what we have inherited and what we pass on. The baggage and burdens and the gifts. And, of course, the growth.

I see friendship, sisterhood, motherhood and shared history in this card. I see beautiful, harmonious relationships, as well as bittersweet memories from the past and wistful dreams of the future. There is a sense of nostalgia and a hint of melancholy in the 6 of Cups, but I like to think of this card as a poignant waymaker on the path to acceptance and making peace with the passing of time on earth and of people and relationships.

There is also a message here about our relationship with ourselves and the child within. The 6 of Cups invites us to look kindly upon and accept all the many versions of ourselves, past, present and future – just as we may do with our own children and other loved ones.

Prompts for 6 of Cups ~ The Sun in Scorpio

When considering your close relationships past and present…

Ask yourself:

  • How are you showing up in your friendships?
  • Do you give as much as you receive? Are your friendships healthy and reciprocal?
  • Who needs the gift of your friendship, compassion and affection right now?
  • How can you best honour your inner child? What do you do for play and pleasure?
  • What would your younger self say to you now? What wisdom would you share with them?
  • Who or what from your past do you need to release or forgive in order to find better harmony and balance?

Observations and synchronicities ~ on Scorpio II

I’m making a space here to return to over the coming days of Scorpio II to add any thoughts, ideas and synchronicities as they arise…

In readings for myself, the 6 of Cups often represents the comfort that old friends and my siblings bring. The cosy bubble of friendship. How easy it is to spend time with those who know me best, with whom I have so many shared experiences – the highs and the lows. This is the gift of friendship and I consider myself so very lucky.

In The Tarot Handbook, Angeles Arrien described perfectly the 6 of Cups as representing emotional pleasure that is healing, revitalising, renewing and regenerating.

“Out of the experience of pleasure, you are regenerated and renewed to such an extent that pleasure and the sense of pleasure is extended to others.”

This feels so true when I think about spending time with my friends, siblings and my child… it raises me up and is good for my soul. Quite simply, it lifts my spirit.


Notes on the Decan Walk 2024/25

For more information on Decans, Astrology and Tarot and how they all synchronise please read this Substack article by Rebeka Kulcsar-Kurdi and T. Susan Chang’s 36 Secrets: A Decanic Journey through the Minor Arcana of the Tarot.

And, if you care to join me for this continuing solar return, you’ll find me on Facebook and Instagram hanging out on the corner of #decanwalk2024 and #decanastrology And I will be following @astroco_op and @tsusanchang

Here’s to another trip around the Sun!

Tarot Decan Walk: Scorpio I ~ 5 of Cups

Tarot Decan Walk: Scorpio I ~ 5 of Cups

Decan: 0°-9° Scorpio

Dates 2024: 23-31 October 2024

Ruling planet/luminary: Mars

Zodiac sign: Scorpio ~ Fixed Water 🜄

Tarot card: 5 of Cups

Golden Dawn Title: Lord of Loss in Pleasure

Associated Major Arcana:

The Tower (Mars) & Death (Scorpio)

5 of Cups. The Rider Waite Tarot

All is not lost

The 5 of Cups depicts an experience of loss or disappointment, perhaps mixed with shame, regret, denial or loss of pride. This is the lingering fallout after a ‘Tower moment’.

This may be a new wound or the reopening of an old one and is something we all must go through at some point. When we feel cut off or choose to cut ourselves off, from the rest of the world and focus on our misfortune.

For some, the message of 5 of Cups is as simple as “it’s no good crying over spilt milk” but, with the astrological aspect of Mars in Scorpio, the suggestion is that the ‘disappointment’ runs deep. So, for others, this card will speak of terrible loss and grief and should not be trivialised.

The 2 upright cups hold hope for the future, although we cannot see what they hold or what that looks like from our current viewpoint, and the bridge back to ourselves and the world stays open for when we are ready to cross it.

As with previous Decans, I have found it useful to look at some keywords to see what ideas they may spark about the current Decan of Scorpio I.

Mars ~ attributes

  • Fire
  • Yang
  • Energy
  • Passion
  • Drive
  • Ignition
  • Ambition
  • Action
  • Movement
  • Dynamism
  • Bravery
  • Anger
  • Aggression, war
  • Destruction/Tower energy
  • Construction
  • Reconstruction
  • Ruler of the warrior Aries

Scorpio ~ attributes

  • Deep thinking
  • Passionate
  • Emotional
  • Intense
  • Intuitive
  • Mysterious
  • Secretive
  • Honest
  • Moody
  • Loyal
  • Determined
  • Ambitious
  • Singleminded
  • Unyielding
  • Obsessive
  • Temperamental
  • Ruled by the Pluto & Mars

Scorpio rulership

Scorpio has two planetary rulers. Originally this sign was assigned to the warrier planet Mars and then to Pluto after the discovery of the outer planets. Pluto is lord of the underworld and ruler of sex, death and taxes, and deep-seated emotion.

In Tarot, Pluto rules Judgement XX the card of rebirth. It is interesting how these two cards of Death and rebirth are so inextricably linked in the undeniable cycle of change and transformation.

Prompts for 5 of Cups ~ Mars in Scorpio

When in pain, or in the depths of regret, guilt or shame…

Ask yourself:

  • What pain are you holding on to?
  • Who do you need to forgive?
  • Can you forgive yourself?
  • What or who can you focus on in the here and now to help you reconnect with your present and your future hopes?
  • What is there to learn from past disappointments?
  • How might you adjust future expectations?
  • How might you come out of this stronger? How might this change you?

Observations and synchronicities ~ on Scorpio I

I’m making a space here to return to over the coming days of Scorpio I to add any thoughts, ideas and synchronicities as they arise…

Mars in Scorpio sounds like a bad mood. Like a teenager raging through the house and slamming doors as they go. Funny/not funny.

It also feels like a stark reminder, as if we needed one, of what is going on in the world today: war, destruction, death, pain, loss. The greed and ambition that drive men to war and their tolerance of (or appetite for) conflict and ability to cut themselves off from their own humanity, and to deny the humanity of others, as they reach for power. This feels very much like the dark side of Mars in Scorpio and of human nature.


Notes on the Decan Walk 2024/25

For more information on Decans, Astrology and Tarot and how they all synchronise please read this Substack article by Rebeka Kulcsar-Kurdi and T. Susan Chang’s 36 Secrets: A Decanic Journey through the Minor Arcana of the Tarot.

And, if you care to join me for this continuing solar return, you’ll find me on Facebook and Instagram hanging out on the corner of #decanwalk2024 and #decanastrology And I will be following @astroco_op and @tsusanchang

Here’s to another trip around the Sun!

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