by StillSmallVoiceTarot | Jul 22, 2025 | Fear and Loathing, We need to talk about
We need to talk about what happens when living with a teenage daughter
I live with my 15-year-old daughter. Itโs just the two of us, and thereโs no denying the incredible bond and love between us. But it’s no easy ride.
So, when the Empress comes up for me in Tarot readings for myself, I tend to take it as a prompt to examine how I am showing up in my relationship with my daughter… as the โgrownupโ in our relationship. The sole provider, protector and carer.
On a good day, I can come up with quite a lot of lovely fluffy stuff about loving, nurturing, accepting, non-judgmental mothering with a healthy pinch of self-love and self-acceptance sprinkled on top for good measure.
Be kind to yourself, right?
But then we, my daughter and I, fall out over something stupid, and I know that I can never live up to this particular template of mothering: The Empress template.
Underappreciated, unseen, overworkedโฆ redundant
There are times when I feel underappreciated, unseen, overworked, yet at the same time slightly redundant, like Iโm about to be discontinued in my current format. Operating System, no longer supported.
Sometimes I think, no, I know, she is actually pretending to live in the flat on her own. And it reminds me of when, as a little girl, she stopped wanting to hold my hand on the street and then graduated to walking ahead or behind me on the pavement – pretending to be out and about all on her own.
Itโs OK. Iโm OK. I know that itโs pretty bloody important that our kids grow up to be able to leave the house and cross the road on their own. And other such important stuff.
I also know that many daughters only truly see their mothers clearly when they themselves become mothers, or carers, or otherwise fully-fledged relational humans with lives and homes (and hormones) and responsibilities of their own.
I know, and Iโm OK. Donโt send help.
The Empress ~ Towering feminine archetype or impossible, untouchable fantasy role model?
I am Libra Sun (with a tricky Capricorn Moon in my 1st house). As many will know, Libra is ruled by the planet Venus, which is represented in the Tarot Major Arcana by none other than The Empress. A literal powerhouse of authentic feminine creativity and strength.
So, it feels like there may be some weight of (self-imagined) expectation there for me to be a natural earth mother, fierce and strong.
I am not.
Well, not all the time anyway.
The Empress in her full power
The Empress is strong, creative, passionate, sensual, nurturing, caring and alive. She represents vitality, fecundity and fertility, nature’s cycles, feminine cycles and abundance.
She is your mother and Mother Earth. Sovereign over the female body, she rules over birth, childhood, hormones, menarche, sex, pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood, menopause, and beyond. I believe she is there until the end.
She is the daughter caring for elderly parents and the grandmother holding the baby when her daughter or daughter โin-lawโ needs a break to have a shower and something to eat.
She is also your sister and your best friend.
She is the feminine ideal in every stage of womanhood. Apparently.
An impossible full-fat fantasy
This full-fat version of The Empress is an almost impossible ideal, a fantasy.
She is hard to live up to, and she is also the most shaken when her daughter stops being her sweet, obedient child and starts growing into a woman, discovering her own power and pushing for sovereignty over her body and choices.
Her: โYou canโt tell me what to do!โ
Me: โI bloody well can. Itโs my actual job, as your mother.
Itโs in the job description.
Which is sitting on the printer if youโd care to read it.โ
(It was not, obviously. That would’ve been funny.)
Sound familiar?
When you have a teenage daughter in the house pressing your buttons, rolling her eyes, and occasionally slamming doors, the mother that tends to emerge (in my house at least) is often a much more shadowy version of The Empress.
When The Empress shadow rises
In shadow, she is the over-functioning nurturer. She โhelicoptersโ and gives and gives, and expects nothing in return.
Or does she?ย
Yeah, donโt be fooled. This Empress is the master-martyr. Queen of passive aggression and certainly not above an eye-roll or a door slam herself. Controlling, manipulative and childish behaviour is not exclusive to the kids!
So much for showing up as the โgrown-upโ. Cue the inevitable shame spiral when real life looks messier, angrier, or less adorable.
It helps to remember: this fantasy didnโt come from nowhere. Itโs the legacy of a thousand years of unpaid labour under a system and a culture that idealises the mother, then leaves her to do the washing up and wipe the kitchen surfaces on her own.
The Princess ~ Rebel Fool & People Pleaser
In the Tarot vernacular, my daughter tends to show up as the Page or Princess (as they are named in some decks) in these scenarios, in all her glorious light and shadow.
She is young and impressionable and chomping at the bit to access and experience more of life. Curious, open, fun-loving, and yes, innocent, romantic and perhaps a little naรฏve.
These are classic Page/Princess qualities to be honoured, bounded and fiercely protected for as long as we can. Thatโs the job, as a parent.
When the Princess shadow rises
The Page/Princess archetype also represents โThe Rebel Foolโ, risk-taking and pushing boundaries, and โThe People Pleaserโ, needing to build self-worth, and longing for acceptance and validation through the approbation or โgazeโ of others.
And we all know what kind of choices these two versions of the Page/Princess might make. And how a mother/martyr might judge them, while at the same time blame themselves.
Her: โOh my God-errr. Are you shaming me?!โ
(Extreme eye roll)
Me: โNo, my darling. Of course not.
I think you look fantastic in those shorts*…
Iโm just trying to keep you safe.โ
*Think Daisy Dukes: ultra-short, bum-hugging festival shorts.
Their Deaths ~ Letโs talk about the Death Card
As with womanhood, Motherhood seems to be a series of โDeathโ and โTowerโ moments. Weโll get to The Tower in a moment. First, letโs address the Death card and what it adds to the conversation about living with a teenage daughter.
Each life stage referred to above as the province of The Empress is also in the dominion of Death. Putting the two cards side-by-side reminds us of the inevitable circle of life and how that plays for a woman in particular.
We go through so many transformations throughout our lives and with each stage we experience a mini-death and a rebirth: from physical birth and babyhood, through childhood to the pre-teen and teenage years, menstruation and sexual maturity, sexual exploration and the โdeath of maidenhoodโ, โmarriageโ, motherhood, middle age and menopause, grand-motherhood and finally physical death.
My daughter and I are, in turns, pushing and pulling each other over the thresholds into new stages of womanhood and motherhood. Once we are transformed from one thing to the next, there is no turning back.
The shift into any new dynamics between mother and daughter isnโt easy. And sometimes, it feels like a death. Each time she sheds a skin, I do too.
Where has my baby girl gone? Who is this beautiful, long-legged creature living in my house and slamming my doors?
And, for that matter, who is this woman I see in the mirror? One thingโs for sure, it isnโt the Fantasy Empress.
The Tower ~ Blows the bloody doors off
If Death represents the inevitable cycles of transformation in our lives, The Tower shows up to โblow the bloody doors off!โ and shatter the myth of the Perfect Mother once and for all.
It tears down the idea of the full-fat Fantasy Empress and the kind of mother you thought you were going to be: always adorable and adored. The shattering of this illusion of motherhood allows for the โreal thingโ to grow.
Death and The Tower, menstruation and menopause, hormonal mood swings, rites of passage. Clearly, my daughter is not the only one growing up, shape-shifting and transforming here. Motherhood isnโt just about shaping a child, but being reshaped by her. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
And maybe she doesnโt love me and need me in quite the same way as she used to. But thatโs OK. The goal is not to be adored like an empress, but to model how to stay sovereign, strong and independent in this world with a rock-solid sense of self and worth.
Strength & the Holy Grail of mothering
I want to end this with another Tarot archetype associated with motherhood.
Strength, under the rulership of Leo, might represent the fiercest mother of them all. And perhaps one key to reclaiming the Empress from the unattainable realms of feminine perfection and fantasy.
This card speaks of subtle power, gentle strength, resilience, self-mastery and acceptance. Superpowers, basically. The holy grail of mothering.
I started this piece by saying we needed to talk about teenage daughters.
Turns out, what I really needed was to talk about mothering teenage daughters. Especially the kind of messy, unglamorous mothering we deliver when no oneโs handing out prizes and the bounds of our love are tested to the limit.
Strength encourages us to stay open, not reactive. To give us the courage to hold the space for a childโs growth, without controlling it. To keep witnessing and loving them even when we feel their resistance and they are behaving like little shits!
by StillSmallVoiceTarot | Jan 25, 2025 | Decan Walk 2024/25
Decan: 0ยฐ- 9ยฐ Aquarius
Dates: 20-30 January 2025
Ruling planet/luminary: Venus
Zodiac sign: Aquarius ~ Mutable Air ๐
Tarot card: 5 of Swords
Golden Dawn Title: Lord of Defeat
Associated Major Arcana:
The Empress (Venus) & The Star (Aquarius)
Trespassers will be prosecuted
The Empress seems like the gatekeeper in this scenario. She is placed between us and the water behind – perhaps the very pool where The Star, pours her water. This fits with the idea of The Empress as mother and protector. And if The Star may represent the nurturing of our dreams, then these two together carry a strong message of creativity and hope.
Hopes and dreams, our creations, our art, new life even, require protection, space and time to grow. I like to think that The Empress, in her abundant generosity, offers safe, fertile ground for The Star’s seeds of inspiration – though some of them may be quite brave and ‘out there’ – to take root and flourish.
So far, so lovely but what has all this got to do with the rather more brutal and confronting 5 of Swords and Venus in Aquarius? Traditional readings for this card speak of victims, villains, loss, failure and blame. Of brutal acts and harsh, cutting words, and hints of cruelty. And of the violation of boundaries and the following consequences for all parties.
Life is full of challenges and does not always work out how we want it to. Hopes and dreams can falter and fail and our ideas and new creations may be cut down. Perhaps the 5 of Swords asks us to look back on our losses and defeats with some Aquarian detachment and intellectual curiosity. What have we learned? How has it shaped us? And how can we respond with love rather than pain? How do we move forward with the intention not to cause more damage when we feel that we have sustained damage? How do we break the cycle?
As with previous Decans, I have found it useful to look at some keywords to see what ideas they may spark about the current Decan of Aquarius I.
Venus ~ attributes
- Earth
- Yin energy
- Tenderness
- Abundance
- Growth
- Love
- Friendship
- Attraction
- Sensuousness
- Sensuality
- Warmth
- Creativity
- Art
- Beauty
- Harmony
- Earthly pleasures
- Joy
- Luxury
- Ruler of Taurus & Libra
Aquarius ~ attributes
- Independent
- Intelligent
- Intellectual curiosity
- Creative
- Humanitarian
- Innovative
- Rebellious
- Technical
- Analytical
- Truthful
- Idealistic
- Unpredictable
- Eccentric
- Needs space
- Mutable Air sign
- Ruled by the Uranus
Victim & villain… flip the narrative
I’ve written about it before, wanting to flip the villain-victim dynamic in the 5 of Swords. This mainly comes from a desire to see the underdog in any situation rise up and turn the tables on their oppressors. It has become my “don’t f*** with me card” when reading for myself and others.
But, when coming from the Venus in Aquarius angle, I am realising that there is more to it than that. It’s not just about defending yourself against attack and oppression but also finding a way to detach and simply move on, without perpetuating the cycle of conflict.
Dispatching your enemies with love!
Prompts for 5 of Swords ~ Venus in Aquarius
When you find yourself on one side or another of a conflict…
Ask yourself:
- Can you identify the areas of conflict and confrontation in your life?
- What is your part in them?
- What are you fighting for?
- Are you standing up for yourself and what you believe in or are you fighting to win for winningโs sake?
- Is there a cycle of conflict that needs to be broken?
Observations and synchronicities ~ Aquarius I
Iโm making space here to return to over the coming days of Aquarius I to add any thoughts, ideas and synchronicities as they ariseโฆ
Capricorn season was hard on me. I went underground somewhat which perhaps matches the heavy earthy energy of the season when we experience the darkest nights of the year in the Northern Hemisphere.
Despite the fact we have some of the most challenging cards in the deck ahead of us to explore, I am feeling more space and light in the first Decan on Aquarius. I feel more creative movement and ideas are flowing more freely. Let’s see where it takes us.
Notes on the Decan Walk 2024/25
For more information on Decans, Astrology and Tarot and how they all synchronise please read this Substack article by Rebeka Kulcsar-Kurdi and T. Susan Chang’s 36 Secrets: A Decanic Journey through the Minor Arcana of the Tarot.
And, if you care to join me for this continuing solar return, you’ll find me on Facebook and Instagram hanging out on the corner of #decanwalk2024 and #decanastrology And I will be following @astroco_op and @tsusanchang
Here’s to another trip around the Sun!
by StillSmallVoiceTarot | Nov 13, 2024 | Decan Walk 2024/25
Decan: 20ยฐ-29ยฐ Scorpio
Dates: 12-21 November 2024
Ruling planet/luminary: Venus
Zodiac sign: Scorpio ~ Fixed Water ๐
Tarot card: 7 of Cups
Golden Dawn Title: Lord of Illusory Success
Associated Major Arcana:
The Empress (Venus) & Death (Scorpio)
Where your focus goes…
The 7 of Cups can represent an ‘overwhelm’ of choices. And you really canโt have it all. Choices must be made and sometimes there are objects, dreams, fantasies, obsessions or patterns that must be โlet goโ – allowed to ‘die’ – so that other, more sustainable, options may be allowed to survive and thrive.
We all know the phrase ‘where your focus goes, energy flowsโฆ’ so Venus in Scorpio, as seen in the 7 of Cups, is a warning to be very aware of where you place your attention and intention in the moment.
The Venus ruled Empress represents fertile ground, creativity and also a love of earthly pleasures. However, this can play into her darker side where she might over-indulge in the pleasures of the physical world to the detriment of her inner world.
And so Death rides in to remind her, and all of us, that ‘you can’t take it with you when you go’. There’s nothing like a brush with Death to focus the mind on what really matters.
As with previous Decans, I have found it useful to look at some keywords to see what ideas they may spark about the current Decan of Scorpio III.
Venus ~ attributes
- Earth
- Yin energy
- Tenderness
- Abundance
- Growth
- Love
- Friendship
- Attraction
- Sensuousness
- Sensuality
- Warmth
- Creativity
- Art
- Beauty
- Harmony
- Earthly pleasures
- Joy
- Luxury
- Ruler of Taurus & Libra
Scorpio ~ attributes
- Deep thinking
- Passionate
- Emotional
- Intense
- Intuitive
- Mysterious
- Secretive
- Honest
- Moody
- Loyal
- Determined
- Ambitious
- Singleminded
- Unyielding
- Obsessive
- Temperamental
- Water sign
- Ruler of the 10th House – birth, death, inheritance
- Ruled by the Pluto & Mars
The Empress, Birth & Death
The Empress in Tarot is said to represent the great earth mother, childbirth and creation. To put her side-by-side with Death reminds us of the inevitable circle of life and how that plays for a woman in particular.
From the female point of view, we go through so many transformations throughout our incredible lives and with each stage we experience a mini-death and a rebirth: from physical birth and babyhood, from childhood to the teenage years, menstruation and sexual maturity, sexual exploration and the ‘death of maidenhood’, ‘marriage’, motherhood, middle age and menopause, grandmotherhood and finally physical death.
Once we are transformed from one thing to another there is no turning back. And there are often dreams to be sacrificed along the way as we face the responsibilities of the stage of life that we are in, whether they be to our husband/partner, our children or the expectations of a still patriarchal society. We put our focus where our focus is needed. And it can indeed be overwhelming.
Interestingly, the ‘death and the maiden’ is a common theme in art, where we may see a young woman being taken by Death, often depicted as a skeleton, inspired by the ancient myth of Hades, the bachelor god of the underworld who abducted Persephone.
Death and the Maiden: PJ Lynch and Marianne Stokes. Hades Abducting Persephone: Simone Pignoni
Prompts for 7 of Cups ~ Venus in Scorpio
When considering your myriad choices, and where you choose to focus your energy…
Ask yourself:
- Are you lacking focus and direction right now?
- How can you turn your attention to the people and things that matter to you?
- Are you struggling to keep your eye on the real prize?
- Are you feeling tempted to go down a route or indulge in behaviours that you know in your heart are not good for you and those around you?
- How do your decisions affect others?
- What can you do to ensure you make healthier choices going forward?
Observations and synchronicities ~ on Scorpio III
Iโm making space here to return to over the coming days of Scorpio III to add any thoughts, ideas and synchronicities as they ariseโฆ
For me, this is the first card in the Minor Arcana that points to excess and addiction.
It reminds me of indulging in self-destructive, escapist behaviours in the hope of filling some void. Though fun in the moment, these behaviours ultimately only served to highlight what was missing and inevitably led to โfear and loathingโ.
This interpretation comes through more strongly depending on the deck, but I think you can get a real sense of the debauched nature and toxic energy that the 7 of Cups can bring when you look at the Thoth and Urban Tarot renditions of the card.
Notes on the Decan Walk 2024/25
For more information on Decans, Astrology and Tarot and how they all synchronise please read this Substack article by Rebeka Kulcsar-Kurdi and T. Susan Chang’s 36 Secrets: A Decanic Journey through the Minor Arcana of the Tarot.
And, if you care to join me for this continuing solar return, you’ll find me on Facebook and Instagram hanging out on the corner of #decanwalk2024 and #decanastrology And I will be following @astroco_op and @tsusanchang
Here’s to another trip around the Sun!
by StillSmallVoiceTarot | Apr 10, 2024 | Decan Walk 2024/25
Decan: 20ยฐ-29ยฐ Aries
Dates 2024: 10 April – 19 April
Ruling planet/luminary: Venus – Roman Goddess of Love & Beauty
Zodiac sign : Aries ~ Cardinal Fire
Tarot card: 4 of Wands
Golden Dawn Title: Lord of Perfected Work
Associated Major Arcana:
The Empress (Venus) & The Emperor IV (Aries)
At last some feminine energy brings balance, beauty and pleasure
It’s time to take a break from all that unadulterated yang activity brought by the first two faces of Aries and allow Venus to welcome us into her Decan of Aries before handing us over to the Taurus – a sign she is most compatible with.
It’s almost as if she has invited everyone in to take a well deserved rest from the super-creative, initiative work and relax for a while to enjoy a few earthly pleasures and celebrate what they have accomplished. I’m getting a vision of her, fragrant and luminous, floating around her party in a voluminous silk maxi-dress, the gracious hostess, making sure all guests are being taken care of and putting everyone at ease. She encourages connection, enjoyment and fun.
Let’s take a look at some keywords for Venus and Aries to see what they tell us about the 4 of Wands.
Venus ~ attributes
- Earth
- Yin energy
- Tenderness
- Abundance
- Growth
- Love
- Friendship
- Attraction
- Sensuousness
- Sensuality
- Warmth
- Creativity
- Art
- Beauty
- Harmony
- Earthly pleasures
- Joy
- Luxury
- Ruler of Taurus & Virgo
Aries ~ attributes
- The first
- Initiator
- Fiery/flammable
- Leader/Emperor energy
- Creative
- Spontaneous
- Heroic
- Passionate
- Inspiring
- Vibrant
- Charismatic
- Forceful
- Unstoppable
- Domineering
- Quick-tempered
- Reactive
- Hasty
Love & passion. Partnership, stability & abundance
Venus is the ruler of two zodiac signs: Taurus and Libra. And it is the energies of these signs that she brings to this last Decan of Aries. There is a focus of energy on love, romance and partnerships and sustainable material abundance.
The 4 of Wands, of course, depicts some kind of celebration. A Spring festival maybe, or a wedding party? For all her gracious charm, Venus in Aries will be urging people to show passion and initiative, and take action in their relationships. With the Emperor IV and 4 of Wands, The Empress/Venus also encourages consolidation and stabilisation of partnerships in any sphere of life in order to create lasting abundance and wealth.
Thinking forward to future Decans, the next time Venus shows up is in the 2 of Cups (love, partnership and creativity), and the 9 of Pentacles (wealth, abundance and independence). There is a fascinating pattern there… for a nerd like me.
Prompts for 4 of Wands ~ Venus in Aries
If/when you experience a period of growth, when new endeavours or relationships are starting to stabilise…
Ask yourself:
- Who or what needs celebrating in your life right now?
- What are you grateful for today?
- What blessings are flowing your way? And how can you keep that flow of lovingkindness moving?
- What have you achieved that you are proud of?
- What relationships are you grateful for?
- Who do you like spending time with?
- How do you show those people that you appreciate them?
- How do you celebrate them and yourself?
- Who needs nurturing?
Observations and synchronicities ~ on Aries III
I’m making a space here to return to over the coming days of Aries II, to add any thoughts, ideas and synchronicities as they arise…
OK so this has brought the 4 of Wands to life for me a bit. Now when I pull this card, I will also be looking out for The Empress and The Emperor as well as other Minor Arcana under the influence of Venus: the 2 of Cups (Venus in Cancer) and 9 of Pentacles (Venus in Virgo) in readings. The study of Aries III has deepened the connections for me here.
To take it further, I shall also be looking out for Venus when she appears in the more challenging Minor Arcana cards: 7 of Cups (Venus in Scorpio) and 5 of Swords (Venus in Aquarius).
On a personal note
I have never been married, I am a single Mum (to a bright and wilful teenager who just happens to have been born with her Sun in Aries III) and a happily single woman with a Libra Sun – so, you know, relationships are key for me.
When I read for myself I often see the 4 of Wands, especially if it turns up with the 9 of Pentacles, as an opportunity to acknowledge where I am and how I got here and to celebrate my motherhood, all the precious moments and milestones, and all the important relationships I hold, especially with the wonderful women in my life.
I also take it as a moment to celebrate my independence and freedom – which is an absolutely sacred thing to me. I’m Sag rising… go figure.
My biggest takeaway ~ Aires III
I feel like I want to consolidate, to look back over the previous two faces of Aries and make sure that I have done what I have set out to do. One of those was to shine a light on myself… and I’m going to need all of Venus’ wit, charm and self-love to achieve that.
…
Notes on the Decan Walk 2024/25
For more information on Decans, Astrology and Tarot and how they all synchronise please read this Substack article by Rebeka Kulcsar-Kurdi and T. Susan Chang’s 36 Secrets: A Decanic Journey through the Minor Arcana of the Tarot.
And, if you care to join me for this continuing solar return, you’ll find me on Facebook and Instagram hanging out on the corner of #decanwalk2024 and #decanastrology And I will be following @astroco_op and @tsusanchang
Here’s to another trip around the Sun!